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It was one of those midsummer Sundays when everyone sits around
saying, "I drank too much last night." You might have
heard it whispered by the parishioners leaving church, heard
it from the lips of the priest himself, struggling with his cassock
in the vestiarium, heard it from the golf links and the tennis
courts, heard it from the wildlife preserve where the leader
of the Audubon group was suffering from a terrible hangover.
"I drank too much," said Donald Westerhazy. "We
all drank too much," said Lucinda Merrill. "It must
have been the wine," said Helen Westerhazy. "I drank
too much of that claret."
This was at the edge of the Westerhazys' pool. The pool, fed
by an artesian well with a high iron content, was a pale shade
of green. It was a fine day. In the west there was a massive
stand of cumulus cloud so like a city seen from a distance—from
the bow of an approaching ship—that it might have had a name.
Lisbon. Hackensack. The sun was hot. Neddy Merrill sat by the
green water, one hand in it, one around a glass of gin. He was
a slender man—he seemed to have the especial slenderness of
youth—and while he was far from young he had slid down his banister
that morning and given the bronze backside of Aphrodite on the
hall table a smack, as he jogged toward the smell of coffee in
his dining room. He might have been compared to a summer's day,
particularly the last hours of one, and while he lacked a tennis
racket or a sail bag the impression was definitely one of youth,
sport, and clement weather. He had been swimming and now he was
breathing deeply, stertorously as if he could gulp into his lungs
the components of that moment, the heat of the sun, the intenseness
of his pleasure. It all seemed to flow into his chest. His own
house stood in Bullet Park, eight miles to the south, where his
four beautiful daughters would have had their lunch and might
be playing tennis. Then it occurred to him that by taking a dogleg
to the southwest he could reach his home by water.
His life was not confining and the delight he took in this
observation could not be explained by its suggestion of escape.
He seemed to see, with a cartographer's eye, that string of swimming
pools, that quasi-subterranean stream that curved across the
county. He had made a discovery, a contribution to modern geography;
he would name the stream Lucinda after his wife. He was not a
practical joker nor was he a fool but he was determinedly original
and had a vague and modest idea of himself as a legendary figure.
The day was beautiful and it seemed to him that a long swim might
enlarge and celebrate its beauty.
He took off a sweater that was hung over his shoulders and
dove in. He had an inexplicable contempt for men who did not
hurl themselves into pools. He swam a choppy crawl, breathing
either with every stroke or every fourth stroke and counting
somewhere well in the back of his mind the one-two one-two of
a flutter kick. It was not a serviceable stroke for long distances
but the domestication of swimming had saddled the sport with
some customs and in his part of the world a crawl was customary.
To be embraced and sustained by the light green water was less
a pleasure, it seemed, than the resumption of a natural condition,
and he would have liked to swim without trunks, but this was
not possible, considering his project. He hoisted himself up
on the far curb—he never used the ladder—and started across
the lawn. When Lucinda asked where he was going he said he was
going to swim home.
The only maps and charts he had to go by were remembered or
imaginary but these were clear enough. First there were the Grahams,
the Hammers, the Lears, the Howlands, and the Crosscups. He would
cross Ditmar Street to the Bunkers and come, after a short portage,
to the Levys, the Welchers, and the public pool in Lancaster.
Then there were the Hallorans, the Sachses, the Biswangers, Shirley
Adams, the Gilmartins, and the Clydes. The day was lovely, and
that he lived in a world so generously supplied with water seemed
like a clemency, a beneficence. His heart was high and he ran
across the grass. Making his way home by an uncommon route gave
him the feeling that he was a pilgrim, an explorer, a man with
a destiny, and he knew that he would find friends all along the
way; friends would line the banks of the Lucinda River.
He went through a hedge that separated the Westerhazys' land
from the Grahams', walked under some flowering apple trees, passed
the shed that housed their pump and filter, and came out at the
Grahams' pool. "Why, Neddy," Mrs. Graham said, "what
a marvelous surprise. I've been trying to get you on the phone
all morning. Here, let me get you a drink." He saw then,
like any explorer, that the hospitable customs and traditions
of the natives would have to be handled with diplomacy if he
was ever going to reach his destination. He did not want to mystify
or seem rude to the Grahams nor did he have the time to linger
there. He swam the length of their pool and joined them in the
sun and was rescued, a few minutes later, by the arrival of two
carloads of friends from Connecticut. During the uproarious reunions
he was able to slip away. He went down by the front of the Grahams'
house, stepped over a thorny hedge, and crossed a vacant lot
to the Hammers'. Mrs. Hammer, looking up from her roses, saw
him swim by although she wasn't quite sure who it was. The Lears
heard him splashing past the open windows of their living room.
The Howlands and the Crosscups were away. After leaving the Howlands'
he crossed Ditmar Street and started for the Bunkers', where
he could hear, even at that distance, the noise of a party.
The water refracted the sound of voices and laughter and seemed
to suspend it in midair. The Bunkers' pool was on a rise and
he climbed some stairs to a terrace where twenty-five or thirty
men and women were drinking. The only person in the water was
Rusty Towers, who floated there on a rubber raft. Oh, how bonny
and lush were the banks of the Lucinda River! Prosperous men
and women gathered by the sapphire-colored waters while caterer's
men in white coats passed them cold gin. Overhead a red de Haviland
trainer was circling around and around and around in the sky
with something like the glee of a child in a swing. Ned felt
a passing affection for the scene, a tenderness for the gathering,
as if it was something he might touch. In the distance he heard
thunder. As soon as Enid Bunker saw him she began to scream:
"Oh, look who's here! What a marvelous surprise! When Lucinda
said that you couldn't come I thought I'd die." She made
her way to him through the crowd, and when they had finished
kissing she led him to the bar, a progress that was slowed by
the fact that he stopped to kiss eight or ten other women and
shake the hands of as many men. A smiling bartender he had seen
at a hundred parties gave him a gin and tonic and he stood by
the bar for a moment, anxious not to get stuck in any conversation
that would delay his voyage. When he seemed about to be surrounded
he dove in and swam close to the side to avoid colliding with
Rusty's raft. At the far end of the pool he bypassed the Tomlinsons
with a broad smile and jogged up the garden path. The gravel
cut his feet but this was the only unpleasantness. The party
was confined to the pool, and as he went toward the house he
heard the brilliant, watery sound of voices fade, heard the noise
of a radio from the Bunkers' kitchen, where someone was listening
to a ball game. Sunday afternoon. He made his way through the
parked cars and down the grassy border of their driveway to Alewives
Lane. He did not want to be seen on the road in his bathing trunks
but there was no traffic and he made the short distance to the
Levys' driveway, marked with a PRIVATE PROPERTY sign and a green
tube for The New York Times. All the doors and windows of the
big house were open but there were no signs of life; not even
a dog barked. He went around the side of the house to the pool
and saw that the Levys had only recently left. Glasses and bottles
and dishes of nuts were on a table at the deep end, where there
was a bathhouse or gazebo, hung with Japanese lanterns. After
swimming the pool he got himself a glass and poured a drink.
It was his fourth or fifth drink and he had swum nearly half
the length of the Lucinda River. He felt tired, clean, and pleased
at that moment to be alone; pleased with everything.
It would storm. The stand of cumulus cloud—that city—had
risen and darkened, and while he sat there he heard the percussiveness
of thunder again. The de Haviland trainer was still circling
overhead and it seemed to Ned that he could almost hear the pilot
laugh with pleasure in the afternoon; but when there was another
peal of thunder he took off for home. A train whistle blew and
he wondered what time it had gotten to be. Four? Five? He thought
of the provincial station at that hour, where a waiter, his tuxedo
concealed by a raincoat, a dwarf with some flowers wrapped in
newspaper, and a woman who had been crying would be waiting for
the local. It was suddenly growing dark; it was that moment when
the pin-headed birds seem to organize their song into some acute
and knowledgeable recognition of the storm's approach. Then there
was a fine noise of rushing water from the crown of an oak at
his back, as if a spigot there had been turned. Then the noise
of fountains came from the crowns of all the tall trees. Why
did he love storms, what was the meaning of his excitement when
the door sprang open and the rain wind fled rudely up the stairs,
why had the simple task, of shutting the windows of an old house
seemed fitting and urgent, why did the first watery notes of
a storm wind have for him the unmistakable sound of good news,
cheer, glad tidings? Then there was an explosion, a smell of
cordite, and rain lashed the Japanese lanterns that Mrs. Levy
had bought in Kyoto the year before last, or was it the year
before that?
He stayed in the Levys' gazebo until the storm had passed.
The rain had cooled the air and he shivered. The force of the
wind had stripped a maple of its red and yellow leaves and scattered
them over the grass and the water. Since it was midsummer the
tree must be blighted, and yet he felt a peculiar sadness at
this sign of autumn. He braced his shoulders, emptied his glass,
and started for the Welchers' pool. This meant crossing the Lindleys'
riding ring and he was surprised to find it overgrown with grass
and all the jumps dismantled. He wondered if the Lindleys had
sold their horses or gone away for the summer and put them out
to board. He seemed to remember having heard something about
the Lindleys and their horses but the memory was unclear. On
he went, barefoot through the wet grass, to the Welchers', where
he found their pool was dry.
This breach in his chain of water disappointed him absurdly,
and he felt like some explorer who seeks a torrential headwater
and finds a dead stream. He was disappointed and mystified. It
was common enough to go away for the summer but no one ever drained
his pool. The Welchers had definitely gone away. The pool furniture
was folded, stacked, and covered with a tarpaulin. The bathhouse
was locked. All the windows of the house were shut, and when
he went around to the driveway in front he saw a FOR SALE sign
nailed to a tree. When had he last heard from the Welchers—when,
that is, had he and Lucinda last regretted an invitation to dine
with them? It seemed only a week or so ago. Was his memory failing
or had he so disciplined it in the repression of unpleasant facts
that he had damaged his sense of the truth? Then in the distance
he heard the sound of a tennis game. This cheered him, cleared
away all his apprehensions and let him regard the overcast sky
and the cold air with indifference. This was the day that Neddy
Merrill swam across the county. That was the day! He started
off then for his most difficult portage.
Had you gone for a Sunday afternoon ride that day you might
have seen him, close to naked, standing on the shoulders of Route
424, waiting for a chance to cross. You might have wondered if
he was the victim of foul play, had his car broken down, or was
he merely a fool. Standing barefoot in the deposits of the highway—beer
cans, rags, and blowout patches—exposed to all kinds of ridicule,
he seemed pitiful. He had known when he started that this was
a part of his journey—it had been on his maps—but confronted
with the lines of traffic, worming through the summery light,
he found himself unprepared. He was laughed at, jeered at, a
beer can was thrown at him, and he had no dignity or humor to
bring to the situation. He could have gone back, back to the
Westerhazys', where Lucinda would still be sitting in the sun.
He had signed nothing, vowed nothing, pledged nothing, not even
to himself. Why, believing as he did, that all human obduracy
was susceptible to common sense, was he unable to turn back?
Why was he determined to complete his journey even if it meant
putting his life in danger? At what point had this prank, this
joke, this piece of horseplay become serious? He could not go
back, he could not even recall with any clearness the green water
at the Westerhazys', the sense of inhaling the day's components,
the friendly and relaxed voices saying that they had drunk too
much. In the space of an hour, more or less, be had covered a
distance that made his return impossible.
An old man, tooling down the highway at fifteen miles an hour,
let him get to the middle of the road, where there was a grass
divider. Here he was exposed to the ridicule of the northbound
traffic, but after ten or fifteen minutes he was able to cross.
From here he had only a short walk to the Recreation Center at
the edge of the village of Lancaster, where there were some handball
courts and a public pool.
The effect of the water on voices, the illusion of brilliance
and suspense, was the same here as it had been at the Bunkers'
but the sounds here were louder, harsher, and more shrill, and
as soon as he entered the crowded enclosure he was confronted
with regimentation. "ALL SWIMMERS MUST TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE
USING THE POOL. ALL SWIMMERS MUST USE THE FOOTBATH, ALL SWIMMERS
MUST WEAR THEIR IDENTIFICATION DISKS." He took a shower,
washed his feet in a cloudy and bitter solution, and made his
way to the edge of the water. It stank of chlorine and looked
to him like a sink. A pair of lifeguards in a pair of towers
blew police whistles at what seemed to be regular intervals and
abused the swimmers through a public address system. Neddy remembered
the sapphire water at the Bunkers' with longing and thought that
he might contaminate himself—damage his own prosperousness and
charm—by swimming in this murk, but he reminded himself that
be was an explorer, a pilgrim, and that this was merely a stagnant
bend in the Lucinda River. He dove, scowling with distaste, into
the chlorine and had to swim with his head above water to avoid
collisions, but even so he was bumped into, splashed, and jostled.
When he got to the shallow end both lifeguards were shouting
at him: "Hey, you, you without the identification disk,
get outa the water." He did, but they had no way of pursuing
him and he went through the reek of suntan oil, and chlorine
out through the hurricane fence and passed the handball courts.
By crossing the road he entered the wooded part of the Halloran
estate. The woods were not cleared and the footing was treacherous
and difficult until he reached the lawn and the clipped beech
hedge that encircled their pool.
The Hallorans were friends, an elderly couple of enormous
wealth who seemed to bask in the suspicion that they might be
Communists. They were zealous reformers but they were not Communists,
and yet when they were accused, as they sometimes were, of subversion,
it seemed to gratify and excite them. Their beech hedge was yellow
and he guessed this had been blighted like the Levys' maple.
He called hullo, hullo, to warn the Hallorans of his approach,
to palliate his invasion of their privacy. The Hallorans, for
reasons that had never been explained to him, did not wear bathing
suits. No explanations were in order, really. Their nakedness
was a detail in their uncompromising zeal for reform and he stepped
politely out of his trunks before he went through the opening
in the hedge.
Mrs. Halloran, a stout woman with white hair and a serene
face, was reading the Times. Mr. Halloran was taking beech leaves
out of the water with a scoop. They seemed not surprised or displeased
to see him. Their pool was perhaps the oldest in the country,
a fieldstone rectangle, fed by a brook. It had no filter or pump
and its waters were the opaque gold of the stream.
"I'm swimming across the county," Ned said.
"Why, I didn't know one could," exclaimed Mrs. Halloran.
"Well, I've made it from the Westerhazys'," Ned said. "That must be about four miles."
He left his trunks at the deep end, walked to the shallow
end, and swam this stretch. As he was pulling himself out of
the water he heard Mrs. Halloran say, "We've been terribly
sorry to bear about all your misfortunes, Neddy."
"My misfortunes?" Ned asked. "I don't know
what you mean." "Why, we heard that you'd sold the
house and that your poor children . . . "
"I don't recall having sold the house," Ned said, "and the girls are at home."
"Yes," Mrs. Halloran sighed. "Yes . . . " Her voice filled the air with an unseasonable melancholy and Ned spoke briskly. "Thank you for the swim."
"Well, have a nice trip," said Mrs. Halloran.
Beyond the hedge he pulled on his trunks and fastened them.
They were loose and he wondered if, during the space of an afternoon,
he could have lost some weight. He was cold and he was tired
and the naked Hallorans and their dark water had depressed him.
The swim was too much for his strength but how could he have
guessed this, sliding down the banister that morning and sitting
in the Westerhazys' sun? His arms were lame. His legs felt rubbery
and ached at the joints. The worst of it was the cold in his
bones and the feeling that he might never be warm again. Leaves
were falling down around him and he smelled wood smoke on the
wind. Who would be burning wood at this time of year?
He needed a drink. Whiskey would warm him, pick him up, carry
him through the last of his journey, refresh his feeling that
it was original and valorous to swim across the county. Channel
swimmers took brandy. He needed a stimulant. He crossed the lawn
in front of the Hallorans' house and went down a little path
to where they had built a house, for their only daughter, Helen,
and her husband, Eric Sachs. The Sachses' pool was small and
he found Helen and her husband there.
"Oh, Neddy, " Helen said. "Did you lunch at
Mother's?"
"Not really, " Ned said. "I did stop to see
your parents." This seemed to be explanation enough. "I'm
terribly sorry to break in on you like this but I've taken a
chill and I wonder if you'd give me a drink."
"Why, I'd love to," Helen said, "but there
hasn't been anything in this house to drink since Eric's operation.
That was three years ago."
Was he losing his memory, had his gift for concealing painful
facts let him forget that he had sold his house, that his children
were in trouble, and that his friend had been ill? His eyes slipped
from Eric's face to his abdomen, where be saw three pale,
sutured scars, two of them at least a foot long. Gone was his
navel, and what, Neddy thought, would the roving hand, bed-checking
one's gifts at 3 a.m., make of a belly with no navel, no link
to birth, this breach in the succession?
"I'm sure you can get a drink at the Biswangers',"
Helen said. "They're having an enormous do. You can hear
it from here. Listen!"
She raised her head and from across the road, the lawns, the
gardens, the woods, the fields, he heard again the brilliant
noise of voices over water. "Well, I'll get wet," he
said, still feeling that he had no freedom of choice about his
means of travel. He dove into the Sachses' cold water and, gasping,
close to drowning, made his way from one end of the pool to the
other. "Lucinda and I want terribly to see you," he
said over his shoulder, his face set toward the Biswangers'.
"We're sorry it's been so long and we'll call you very soon."
He crossed some fields to the Biswangers' and the sounds of
revelry there. They would be honored to give him a drink, they
would be happy to give him a drink. The Biswangers invited him
and Lucinda for dinner four times a year, six weeks in advance.
They were always rebuffed and yet they continued to send out
their invitations, unwilling to comprehend the rigid and undemocratic
realities of their society. They were the sort of people who
discussed the price of things at cocktails, exchanged market
tips during dinner, and after dinner told dirty stories to mixed
company. They did not belong to Neddy's set—they were not even
on Lucinda's Christmas-card list. He went toward their pool with
feelings of indifference, charity, and some unease, since it
seemed to be getting dark and these were the longest days of
the year. The party when he joined it was noisy and large. Grace
Biswanger was the kind of hostess who asked the optometrist,
the veterinarian, the real-estate dealer, and the dentist. No
one was swimming and the twilight, reflected on the water of
the pool, had a wintry gleam. There was a bar and he started
for this. When Grace Biswanger saw him she came toward him, not
affectionately as he had every right to expect, but bellicosely.
"Why, this party has everything," she said loudly,
"including a gate crasher."
She could not deal him a social blow—there was no question
about this and he did not flinch. "As a gate crasher,"
he asked politely, "do I rate a drink?"
"Suit yourself," she said. "You don't seem
to pay much attention to invitations."
She turned her back on him and joined some guests, and he
went to the bar and ordered a whiskey. The bartender served him
but be served him rudely. His was a world in which the caterer's
men kept the social score, and to be rebuffed by a part-time
barkeep meant that be had suffered some loss of social esteem.
Or perhaps the man was new and uninformed. Then he heard Grace
at his back say: "They went for broke overnight—nothing
but income—and he showed up drunk one Sunday and asked us to
loan him five thousand dollars. . . ." She was always talking
about money. It was worse than eating your peas off a knife.
He dove into the pool, swam its length and went away.
The next pool on his list, the last but two, belonged to his
old mistress, Shirley Adams. If he had suffered any injuries
at the Biswangers' they would be cured here. Love—sexual roughhouse
in fact—was the supreme elixir, the pain killer, the brightly
colored pill that would put the spring back into his step, the
joy of life in his heart. They had had an affair last week, last
month, last year. He couldn't remember, It was he who had broken
it off, his was the upper hand, and he stepped through the gate
of the wall that surrounded her pool with nothing so considered
as self-confidence. It seemed in a way to be his pool, as the
lover, particularly the illicit lover, enjoys the possessions
of his mistress with an authority unknown to holy matrimony.
She was there, her hair the color of brass, but her figure, at
the edge of the lighted, cerulean water, excited in him no profound
memories. It had been, he thought, a lighthearted affair, although
she had wept when he broke it off. She seemed confused to see
him and he wondered if she was still wounded. Would she, God
forbid, weep again?
"What do you want?" she asked.
"I'm swimming across the county."
"Good Christ. Will you ever grow up?" "What's
the matter?"
"If you've come here for money," she said, "I
won't give you another cent."
"You could give me a drink."
"I could but I won't. I'm not alone." "Well,
I'm on my way."
He dove in and swam the pool, but when be tried to haul himself
up onto the curb he found that the strength in his arms and shoulders
had gone, and he paddled to the ladder and climbed out. Looking
over his shoulder be saw, in the lighted bathhouse, a young man.
Going out onto the dark lawn he smelled chrysanthemums or marigolds—some
stub- born autumnal fragrance—on the night air, strong as gas.
Looking overhead he saw that the stars had come out, but why
should he seem to see Andromeda, Cepheus, and Cassiopeia? What
had become of the constellations of midsummer? He began to cry.
It was probably the first time in his adult life that he had
ever cried, certainly the first time in his life that he had
ever felt so miserable, cold, tired, and bewildered. He could
not understand the rudeness of the caterer's barkeep or the rudeness
of a mistress who had come to him on her knees and showered his
trousers with tears. He had swum too long, he had been immersed
too long, and his nose and his throat were sore from the water.
What he needed then was a drink, some company, and some clean,
dry clothes, and while he could have cut directly across the
road to his home he went on to the Gilmartins' pool. Here, for
the first time in his life, he did not dive but went down the
steps into the icy water and swam a bobbled sidestroke that he
might have learned as a youth. He staggered with fatigue on his
way to the Clydes' and paddled the length of their pool, stopping
again and again with his hand on the curb to rest. He climbed
up the ladder and wondered if he had the strength to get home.
He had done what he wanted, he had swum the county, but he was
so stupefied with exhaustion that his triumph seemed vague. Stooped,
holding on to the gateposts for support, he turned up the driveway
of his own house.
The place was dark. Was it so late that they had all gone
to bed? Had Lucinda stayed at the Westerhazys' for supper? Had
the girls joined her there or gone someplace else? Hadn't they
agreed, as they usually did on Sunday, to regret all their invitations
and stay at home? He tried the garage doors to see what cars
were in but the doors were locked and rust came off the handles
onto his hands. Going toward the house, he saw that the force
of the thunderstorm had knocked one of the rain gutters loose.
It hung down over the front door like an umbrella rib, but it
could be fixed in the morning. The house was locked, and he thought
that the stupid cook or the stupid maid must have locked the
place up until he remembered that it had been some time since
they had employed a maid or a cook. He shouted, pounded on the
door, tried to force it with his shoulder, and then, looking
in at the windows, saw that the place was empty.
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